HOME
Table of Contents
TOP
The most helpful "guide" of being a friend to other Christians and non-Christians is found in Matthew 19:19-"Love thy neighbor as thyself." Although this pamphlet is very general, you can apply it to other dating relationships between a brother and a sister.
1. Friends put the other person first. They consider the feelings of the persons they date, as well as their own. They don't seek to build up their own egos with flirtatious promises they don't intend to keep. They are honest and considerate. Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor. 1 Corinthians 10:24
2. Friends encourage one another. They don't wait for praises and compliments from their dates to make them feel good. They seek ways to encourage their friends. Kind words of praise, of sympathy, of encouragements, costs us nothing, yet we often refrain from speaking them. Lets please the other fellow, not ourselves, and do what is for his good and thus build him up in the Lord. Romans 15:2
3. Friends honor each other. They show respect for the other persons attitudes and feelings, even if they don't agree. They don't think of themselves as superior to their dates, but see them as equal in importance before God. Love each other with brotherly affection and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:10
4. Friends share each others sorrows. They are supportive of the people they date - not only during the times of fun, but also when the going is difficult. They don't fade out of the picture when the other person is suffering emotionally, is physically ill, or has other problems. In fact, it is during the difficult times that a true friend offers comfort and support. Share each others troubles and problems, and so obey our Lords command. Galatians 6:2
5. Friends rejoice together. They choose to kick jealousy and possessiveness out of their lives. Even if a dates happy news does not seem in our best interest (such as when they may receive a job transfer requiring them to move), we should still be happy with them. When others are happy, be happy with them. Romans 12:15
6. Friends are honest with each other. They don't manipulate or lie to the people they date. They are discreetly honest about their feelings toward each other. They give honest replies rather than false hope. Stop lying to each other: tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves. Ephesians 4:25
7. Friends are humble, gentle and patient. They are not critical, boastful, pushy, or rude. They seek to build the other person up. They don't boast of their own achievements. They don't put the other person down for not doing the same as they do. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2
8. Friends are at peace with each other. Friends have disagreements and even confrontations. But they don't engage in selfish quarreling and bickering. They are willing to discuss a situation which is annoying or hurtful. They choose to confront the problem at the time it is recognized, or pray for an opportune time to discuss it. Don't quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. Romans 12:16
9. Friends don't stay angry with each other. Instead of brooding over a situation that made them angry, they seek to understand what caused it. They'll make the time to discuss the situation, and seek to restore the friendship. If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry - get it over quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26,27
10. Friends forgive and ask for forgiveness. No matter how right we are, or think we are, we are admonished to forgive. That does not mean we must necessarily condone the actions of our friends. It does not mean that we choose to forgive us (Matthew 5:23,24). Many times, both parties need to share in the blame and ask forgiveness of each other. Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you much forgave others. Colossians 3:13
11. Friends admit faults to each other. This doesn't mean that friends adapt a "tell all" attitude, but that they should be open to share weaknesses when it is appropriate. In disclosing some of our weak points, we open the door to new levels of communication, and we give our friends the knowledge of how to pray for us. Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man had great power and wonderful results. James 5:16
12. Friends have pure thoughts about each other. Planning ways to make someone "suffer" or make them jealous, scheming and devising plans to "get even" aren't examples of pure thoughts. Rather we should be thinking of how to help our friends grow closer to God. Treat...the girls (guys) as your sisters (brothers), thinking about them. 1 Timothy 5:2
13. Friends don't criticize each other. They choose to speak well of the people they date, or not to say anything at all. (Discussing a dating situation with a trusted friend and making honest statements is not what were talking about). The best action, aside from talking with trusted friends, is to take the matter to God in prayer. Pray that our friends will change, and then lovingly bring any unpleasant attitudes or behavior to their attention. Don't criticize and speak evil about each other, dear brother. If you do, you will be fighting against Gods law of loving one another, declaring it is wrong. James 4:11
14. Friends don't lead each other into sin. They are sensitive about suggesting anything that might tempt the other person to sin. And they wont put pressure on that person to commit a sexual act that is sinful. The right thing to do is to quit eating meat or drinking wine or doing anything else that offends your brother or makes him sin. Romans 14:21
15. Friends rely on Gods wisdom. They know that they will never be knowledgeable enough to keep a relationship going on their own. I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirits instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and they you wont always be doing the wrong things your evil nature wants you to. Galatians 5:16
16. Friends keep their promises. They don't break dates because someone better comes along. They are time for dates. And they follow through with the things they offer to do. God delights in those who keep their promises, and abhors those who don't. Proverbs 12:22
17. Friends pray with each other. They pray for those they date, and ask Gods blessing on their lives. They pray for their friends weak points, instead of criticizing them. Pray all the time. Ask God for anything in line with the Holy Spirits wishes. Plead with Him, reminding Him of your needs, and keep praying earnestly for all Christians everywhere. Ephesians 6:18
18. Friends talk about God with each other. Sharing new discoveries in the Lord gives a relationship a depth that is otherwise unattainable. And when we worship together, our hearts are united in a way that is lacking in other relationship. Talk with each other much about the Lord, quoting psalms and hymns and singing sacred songs, making music in your hearts to the Lord. Ephesians 5:19
19. Friends treat other as they want to be treated. That sums it up, doesn't it? In every dating situation, friends act out of love. You have been given freedom...to love and serve each other. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: Love others as you love yourself. Galatians 5:13,14